Switcharoo the Revised Edition
by Chiharu-senpai
Summary: Did some much-needed editing. Wasn't long enough, so I'm making it longer. What would happen if Konata and Kagami switch bodies for a week? How would they switch back? KonataxKagami with some heavily implied MisaoxAyano.


After going over the reviews of the first-edition "Switcharoo" I decided it was in desperate need of a polish. Issues in the original included too much Japanese, Konata was too calm and reserved and didn't make enough anime references, and Kagami was too mean. Also, I shouldn't have named my OC Agatha. I changed her name.

Making the anime references was the hardest part, as I'm not an otaku so much as I dabble in anime. But I've made a total of three references. Hope they fit.

Another issue was that the story was too short. This was because I ran short of funny ideas at the time, but I've got some more now. So the story will be longer.

Please, if there are any mistakes, tell me now so I can fix them before writing chapter two.

* * *

**SWITCH-A-ROO**

**1. Tarot Readings**

**-KONATA-**

This whole incident reminds me of the saying, "There is happiness for those who accept their fate. There is glory for those who resist their fate." So sayeth Edel.

You don't get it? Watch _Princess Tutu _sometime (didn't care for it at first, but I came around to it).

Uh, anyways…! Point being that the week that I, Izumi Konata, and my friend, Hiiragi Kagami, switched bodies was something we tried to resist. That week had been glorious…gloriously horrible…but amazing as well. And it ended in happiness.

Hmph. This coffee shop is cold, but I get cold easily, so don't let it bother you…It was Kagami's desire to do the interview for the newspaper. I just followed along for the heck of it…but hey. Maybe there's still more to learn from this, more than I learned from the actual experience itself…

Listen to me rambling. This isn't like me. Sorry to get all introspective on you. I'll just start from the beginning, which now seems very long ago…

* * *

It was slightly overcast that fateful spring evening. We were out on a night on the town, my friends and I. It was Saturday --- tomorrow we would study for our upcoming finals…Ahem. More like I would copy answers from Kagamin's study guides. Heheheh…

I looked up to see a little sign by a gravel driveway that read: "Psychic Readings! Only ¥2000!"

"Hey, check it out," I said, pointing out the sign.

"Ah," Miyuki hummed, halting to get a better look. "They use tarot cards. It sounds interesting."

"You can't be serious," Kagamin frowned. "Psychic readings? It's all twaddle. All they ever say is that something bad will happen to you, and then it never does."

"And how would you know?" I retorted.

For only the briefest moment I saw shock flit across Kagami's blue eyes. Then, red-cheeked, she responded, "It's common knowledge. Everyone knows better than to waste their money on readings."

Riiight.

Eager to brush off the minor confrontation, Kagami smiled, "But perhaps it'll be a fun experience…Okay. I'm game." I thought I heard her mumble, "We only have so much time left together…"

"Feelin' a little sentimental?" I inquired in one of my rare serious moments.

"Me? No. I'm totally…fine."

Ya know, the word "fine" is so not fine. People generally toss it out when they actually don't feel too good, I've noticed. People who are brusque. People who are hard on the outside, but soft on the inside. In short, "fine" is a tsundere word.

Kagami looked up from her shoes, and pursed her lips uncomfortably. "Why are you staring? Is it my…hair…?"

"No," I responded, shaking my head. "Your hair looks the same as it always has ---smexy!" I ruffled her bangs.

"Oi! Don't mess up my hair!" She lightly swatted my hand away.

Kagamin's got pigeon-soft hair.

I strayed a bit toward the driveway. It lead up to a lonely cabin. I was intensely curious. I'd never had a tarot reading before. I think the tarots are what appear around that circular border in the _Negima _opening…? Or is it _Kannazuki no Miko_? Urgh, I hate it when I get scatter-brained…

"Miyuki-san!" Kagami exclaimed, seeing our pink-haired friend inch forward. "Not you, too? I thought you had more sense than that!"

Miyuki halted, blushed, and sheepishly itched an eyebrow. She looked so like a little girl who had just had the wind blow her skirt upward.

"Well, normally I'm just as skeptical about psychic readings as you are, Kagami-san," said she. "But tarot readings are a bit more reliable. Besides, what's two thousand yen?"

I had to laugh at that. "Of course two thousand yen is nothing to you, Miyuki-san. Your family's loaded!"

My little joke earned me a scowl from Kagami, who said, "You shouldn't bring up wealth, Konata. It's rude."

"Erm_, _I guess I don't mind," Miyuki practically whispered. She turned to Kagami's sister. "Are you coming with us, Tsukasa-san?"

Tsukasa stood awkwardly, seemingly torn. Her blue eyes shifted uneasily between the disapproving frown of her older twin sister and the expectant glances of Miyuki and I. Finally, with a sigh, she stepped up to the driveway.

Kagami stood at the end of the curb, a little torn herself. "That cabin looks creepy," she murmured. "Are you sure you want to do this? We could just go to someone's house and get our fortunes read online for free."

"Are you not coming?" I asked her.

"Uhh…" She awkwardly kicked the gravel, hands deep in her jacket pockets. "I'm…undecided."

"I guess that's a no, then." I was disappointed. Hearing Kagami's future told in tandem with mine would be fun. Now I was just as reluctant to join Miyuki and Tsukasa in the experience. As they headed up the driveway I lingered a bit, hopeful that Kagamin would change her mind. When it seemed she wouldn't, I joined the others.

"We'll only be a few minutes," Miyuki promised.

There were a few grumbled protests from my favorite tsundere as we headed up the driveway. We were only halfway up when I felt a little _whoosh! _I turned to see Kagamin walking alongside me.

"Hello, stranger," I greeted comically. "So you changed your mind?"

She rolled her eyes, a pink blush dashing her cheeks. "I don't want to stand out there by myself."

I couldn't help but giggle at her expression. "You really hate being lonely, don't you? Poor li'l Kagamin…" I cooed as I brought my hand reassuringly to her back.

She hastily pulled away. But I saw the faintest glow in her face.

* * *

The screen door of the cabin was propped open and we hesitantly stepped in. The foyer was dark, the walls decorated with beads, hauntingly silent. A giant painting of a creature who was half-man and half-goat graced the wall to our right.

Miyuki tapped her chin thoughtfully as she studied the painting. "This is Pan, the Greek god of nature, and the deity that the Greeks associate with Capricorn."

"You're a Capricorn, aren't you, Yuki-chan?" Tsukasa asked.

She nodded, then looked around the room. "Excuse me," she called. "Is anybody here?"

"Back here, dear," replied a voice from another room that sounded neither male nor female.

Miyuki led us through the darkened house toward what appeared to be a living room of sorts. Kagamin leaned close to me and whispered, "Jeez, this place is a dump."

I nodded assent, but said nothing. I had a feeling that whomever this androgynous voice belonged to could hear anything anyone said anywhere.

Kagami was right, though. The cabin was in a state. There was dust and cobwebs, and a strong smell I associated with the biology lab the day we had to dissect frogs. The place was crawling with rats, roaches, and other vermin. I'm disorganized, I'll admit, but this was just disgusting.

In the living room there knelt a small old woman with long white hair and a face full of moles. She was garbed in rags and a had a charm necklace around her shriveled little neck. She was in front of a table with cards spread across it.

"Welcome," she rasped. "I suppose you've come to have your futures read."

We all remained silent. Miyuki smiled politely and nodded.

The woman gestured around the table with a gnarled hand. The four of us knelt around it. The woman formally introduced herself as Sumiko. Miyuki introduced all of us.

Sumiko turned her hooded eyes upward and I could see that the irises were a frightening electric white. I suddenly got the feeling that she was younger than I thought.

"Incidentally, I heard everything you said as you came here." Her colorless eyes flashed toward Kagami. "You are really very critical and your posture now is quite guarded. You strike me as the type of person who puts up a tough front but is actually very sensitive and sentimental… Are you a Cancer?"

Cowed, Kagami shifted uncomfortably.

"Yes_, _we're Cancer," Tsukasa spoke up. I chuckled because she sounded so pleased with herself to finally have more guts than her older sister to work up a response.

"You are very emotional, too, but you're more open and honest about it than your sister."

From the corner of my eye I caught my tsundere glaring at Sumiko. I chuckled again.

"You are also intuitive," the old woman continued. She tilted her head oddly. "Yes, you are soft and gentle, yet I get the feeling that somewhere within you burns a certain strength. It is buried very deep within you, but it's there.

"And I heard you say that you're a Capricorn," said she to Miyuki. "I could've known that. You're very prim and proper, reserved and prudent. You have a stately way of carrying yourself, and I sense that…academic standing is very important to you."

"Well, I guess," Miyuki squeaked, blushing. She is way too cutesy when she's embarrassed.

"You're certainly the light-hearted one," Sumiko observed, turning her blanc eyes on me. I felt my laughter choke and die in my throat. A chill sprouted in my head and I shivered. "Unlike your Capricorn friend here, academic standing is not important to you. You tend to be impatient and scatter-brained. You're impulsive. You might even be a bit lazy. Is this a fair assessment?"

Before I could answer, Kagami snickered, "That's Konata in a nutshell."

Sumiko turned her white eyes on Kagamin, and the tsundere fell silent. I noticed, however, that the woman's stare wasn't really frosty, but more curious and penetrative.

"Despite all that," Sumiko continued in a bemused voice, "you are a truly ambient person. Even though you like to joke lightly about a person's flaws, you readily and heartily accept them. You are a Gemini, correct?"

I know nothing about astrology. "Erm, yes…?" I found myself looking to Tsukasa and Miyuki for guidance. The former gave a short nod, and I said, "Yep. Gemini_._"

She was quiet a moment, her pale eyes shifting from me to Kagamin. I gave my tsundere friend a sideways glance. She seemed transfixed by Sumiko's deep stare. When the old woman again spoke I realized that I hadn't breathed in that moment.

"Your readings will cost you two thousand yen each."

Miyuki and Tsukasa took out their wallets and paid up. I, too, dug through my pockets. I almost always come up short of the price, but this time I had enough money. I dropped the coins into Sumiko's open palm.

"Oneechan…?" Tsukasa prodded Kagami lightly.

I couldn't help but smile as Kagamin snapped out of her trance.

"Quite appealing, eh?" I laughed. "I didn't know you went for older women."

"What are y-you saying?"

Hah. She just stuttered.

Every pair of eyes was on her as she hurriedly fished through her pockets. She produced some coins, counted them. After she finished waterfall tears streamed down her face. "I'm twenty-three yen short…Oh, thank you," said she as I handed her the required amount from my pocket. I might as well pay her back for all the times she helped me buy things.

"I'm very…flattered," Sumiko smirked, her colorless eyes twinkling as she accepted Kagami's money.

"It's not like that!" Kagami squeaked, blushing. "Don't listen to her! She's backwards!"

* * *

I have to say, after getting that reading, I kind of began to understand Kagamin's feelings about psychics. My reading was: "I sense that you have lost someone very near and dear to you…Is it your mother by any chance?" I could feel my right eyebrow raising. Really, Grandmaw? Did I really just spend two thousand yen to have you tell me that my mother's dead?

Kagami's was: "You are very industrious and have a flair for leadership. One day you will be very successful."

Sumiko told Tsukasa that she would suffer financially, and she told Miyuki that she would probably never get married. Their anxiety was almost tangible.

We four stood to leave, a still shaken Miyuki mumbling thanks. She and Tsukasa darted out ahead of us. Kagami and I started to leave when Sumiko's rumbley voice reached us.

"You two wait."

Kagami tried to make a run for it, but I stopped her easily. I held her by her jacket sleeve as I dragged her back to the table. I could feel her trembling.

Sumiko folded her hands thoughtfully. "Tell me, girls, what are your honest opinions of your readings, anyhow?"

"Awful!" Kagami immediately answered. "A total ripoff!"

The old woman's eyes sparkled with amusement. She looked at me. "Konata-san?"

I scraped my throat, trying not to look at her hypnotic eyes. "It was...pretty terrible."

"Trust me, girls, you weren't the ones being scammed, but your friends."

"Either way, I don't appreciate you taking advantage of my sister," Kagami growled. "And what do you mean we weren't ripped off?"

A slow smile creeped across Sumiko's angular features. "I haven't done this in such a long time," I heard her mumble to herself. "I sense something very...peculiar about you two, something that I would like to explore."

I felt Kagami shake harder. She actually pressed closer to me. I would've made a joke, but I was a bit freaked out myself. Sumiko was really intimidating.

"Yes," she nodded. "Yes, this is very peculiar and at the same time wonderful. Something you two haven't discovered yet, no?"

"What are you going on about?" Kagami spluttered.

"I'll take that as a no. Let me show you something..." She held up two cards, one with the tarot symbol for Gemini, the other with the symbol for Cancer. "What do you notice about these cards?"

I leaned in to study them; Kagamin stayed back. I didn't notice anything at first besides the tape. Then I noticed what the tape was holding down. A single strand of blue hair was taped to the Cancer card. A strand of lavender hair was stuck to the Gemini card.

"How did you get a hold of our hair?" I asked, backing away.

No sooner had I said that than my tsundere darted forward to examine the cards.

"Those strands just happened to have fallen from your heads onto my table."

"But how can you tell that this is _my _hair and not Tsukasa's?" Kagami asked.

"Your hair is much longer, just like this fated strand." Sumiko took the cards from her. The old woman got up and headed towards a tiny multi-colored pot across the room. I noticed that she walked with a limp. She opened the pot and tossed the cards in. She then knelt before the table once again. "And that's all I wanted to do. You're excused."

"What?" I choked. My voice came out harsher than I'd intended.

"I've sent you on your Journey. Now you are excused."

"All you did was throw our hair in a pot!" Kagamin roared. "Is this supposed to make up for that craptacular reading?"

Sumiko's eyes sparkled again. "Trust me, Hiiragi-san. This is well worth your money."

Thoroughly outraged, Kagami snatched me by my jacket and roughly hauled me out of Sumiko's cabin. We found Miyuki and Tsukasa waiting for us at the foot of the driveway.

"What happened?" Miyuki asked.

"She tried to sell us something," I cut in before Kagami could answer. "We tried to decline, but that lady would not give up."

On the walk home Kagami pulled me aside to ask me why I had lied to Miyuki.

I shrugged. "I just don't think that they should know."

"You don't believe that old bat, do you?" she hissed, her voice full of malice.

"I don't know, Kagamin. I just don't know." I was tired. My head felt cloudy and heavy. I could have slept like a baby right there.

"That psychic stuff's crapola. That albino granny probably bought those cards from the local thrift shop..."

* * *

I was asleep almost the instant my head hit the pillow. I slept hard and heavy, and I had the weirdest dream ever. I could even go as far as saying that it was weirder than any dream inspired from playing a dating sims game.

I was maybe floating in a black void when I saw a bright light ahead of me. I ran forward to the light to find that it was actually Kagami. She was glowing so brightly that even in a dream I thought I'd go blind. She was walking away from me, and that terrified me. I tried to run, but couldn't. I heard my voice screaming, "Kagamk! Kagami! Come back!" But she didn't. She just kept walking away, not even looking back.

I awoke with a start. My heart was racing. The room was black as pitch. I went back to sleep, not thinking much besides: _How did my bed wind up so close to the window?_


End file.
